Hate being rich? Hating being poor is one thing, but who in the world would hate being rich?
I know, I know, sounds really impossible. But the human mind is a weird, weird thing, ain’t it? As I’m diving deeper into this rabbit hole today and see all the psychological studies done around this topic, apparently, fear of being rich is a VERY real thing.
The more I read, the more I am reminded of instances where I have behaved similarly. I remember back when I was in a job earning pennies, I used to despise girls spending on skincare, clothing, bags, and brands. Why would someone in their right mind spend money on brands when you could literally find the same thing for so much cheaper? I was baffled and held myself superior.
The same thing keeps coming up over and over again in various instances - I hold money very tightly - but the more I hold it, the less I have it. So let’s find answers to some questions, shall we?
Why the hate?
The idea of "hating money" is a fascinating psychological and systemic phenomenon. Usually, what people hate isn't the money itself, but the narrative or the mechanics behind it. Let’s dive deeper into the reasons I discovered:
1. Limited money and Scarcity
The idea that there is a fixed amount of money in the world. If one person becomes rich, they must have taken it from someone else. So basically, being rich is stealing. Another big word is SCARCITY.
I was raised in financial instability, and I subconsciously believe that money can disappear overnight. So, according to my subconscious brain, placing my trust in money is a game I’m destined to lose.
2. Being morally superior
There is a long-standing culture that links poverty with moral high ground and wealth with corruption of values - case in point, the movies we watch. Every religious text, in one way or another, links money to greed. By refusing to be rich, you are basically signaling you are morally better (and to our brains, that is a superior choice if we are conditioned to be liked). Negotiating is a vice - so we resort to charging less, don’t we?
3. Psychological Defense (Sour Grapes)
At a more individual level, despising wealth can be a cognitive defense mechanism. If someone feels they cannot achieve financial success, it is psychologically easier to decide that wealth is "evil" or "unimportant" than to face the frustration of their own circumstances (basically what I was doing back then, hating on girls investing in brands).
But I want to be rich - can I still have fear of being rich?
I’m building a $10k/month brand, so naturally, one of my desires is to be richie rich. So then I won’t have this fear of being rich, right?
WRONG.
You can absolutely want to be rich and still be terrified of it. Your conscious mind wants money and a lot of it, but because of the way your subconscious is conditioned, you get stuck in a love-hate cycle.
So you pursue money... but may also:
Self-sabotage
Undercharge
Delay big projects
Fear visibility
Stay in overplanning
Feel guilt around success
Romanticize struggle
Signs you hate wealth (even when you want to be rich)
Oh, it plays out in the subtle moments, and you really, really have to notice it:
Experiencing a physical or emotional resistance to quoting prices on sales calls. You save it for the very last and are afraid that when you say it, the person is going to reject you.
Consistently hitting a specific income number and then magically encountering a "random" crisis that takes the money away.
Subconsciously believing that money only "counts" if it was earned through grueling, manual effort. Systems or automations (or even AI) feel like "cheating."
An immediate urge to spend profit as soon as it exceeds what you feel you deserve, ensuring you never actually save up.
Finding highly sophisticated, logical-sounding reasons to turn down lucrative opportunities, such as claiming a project "isn't the right vibe" when it is actually just high-paying.
Taking on excessive, unpaid work or over-delivering to a point of exhaustion to prove that you are "helpful" and "not just in it for the money."
Habitually downplaying your wins or financial goals to avoid appearing "arrogant" or "greedy" to your social circle.
Spending four hours trying to save $20 on a subscription when investing in it can bring you 10x the amount.
Spending weeks perfecting the service/product before you’ve even made a single sale. It keeps you in the "builder" phase and out of the "revenue" phase.
Not spending even when you have enough saved up. Especially not spending on yourself. You have no problem spending on utilities, but won’t spare a change for a 500/- haircut.
Can I change this? How?
You can’t change your mindset if you refuse to even accept it. Simple as that.
I was arrogant enough to look down upon people with money to spend on luxury back in the day, but do I still think that way consciously? No. I would love myself a Hermes or a Ferrari, or, as my friend recently introduced me to, Victoria’s Secret perfume range.
Desire is a good thing! It’s the sign you are alive. You don’t have to be at extreme capitalism or extreme minimalism - you’re allowed to live a little. The moment this becomes your internal script - there’s hope.
Step 1: Read your internal script around money. What is your parents’ relationship with money, saving, and luxury? You may deny it, but that’s likely your subconscious script, too. Note it all down.
You might also remember specific moments - like how you wanted that toy, but you were told it’s a waste. Or how you gifted something expensive to your parents and they outright rejected it. Notice how you feel when these memories come up - do they make you sad, or helpless? Write it all down.
Also, notice your reaction to money in real life (like the signs I mentioned above). Note what signs felt real for you. What is your pattern?
Step 2: You need to build a new reference library for your brain to break its conditioning.
Find 3–5 people you respect - peers, mentors, founders, or thinkers - who earn exceptionally well while maintaining their values.
Write down what you like about them - and how money affects that value. They likely have the stories of their lowest phases available publicly - study them and understand how their mindset made them successful.
Try to replicate the steps they followed - ideally, you should be able to. But if you feel friction, it’s your subconscious stopping you.
On that note, also have a fallback plan. Start by building an emergency fund, getting insurance, and having an investment plan. It’s a very real thing to lose it all, and savings are always practical. I’ll talk about my financial plan sometime in the upcoming issues.
Step 3: Invest in yourself - even when your mind and body resist it
Invest in your confidence - in how you look, in how you feel. Get a haircut, buy that cute shirt, and have a skincare routine. You might feel it’s cringeworthy or propaganda, but when you do this for real, you WILL feel a difference.
I’ve always cut my own hair, but I made it a point this weekend to go to a salon and get it professionally done. I have never felt more confident.
Spend a tiny amount of money on something that saves you massive time or increases your perceived value. Buy that subscription. Take that course. Book that call with that expert you look up to.
Learn to tip, give out free info to peers, and learn the art of gift giving. It proves to your subconscious: "I have so much that I can afford to let some go without a guaranteed return."
I have completed steps 1 & 2 successfully and am struggling with step 3. Some days it’s a breeze, some days I have to LITERALLY push myself to get things done.
A great network helps! Surrounding myself with people who constantly push me to abundance has done wonders. Not that I listen to all of what they suggest - but it’s progress.
If you are at steps 1 and 2 - I’m always open to discussing how I came out of it - maybe we can get on a call sometime. Just reply to this one if you need to.
And if you’re already at step 3, please send over resources?
Wishing you a very abundant mindset.
Until the next time!
- Shrishti